Halloween is filled with hollow calories… but not when you choose Tab! (Unless you choose to chop up the can and turn it into a Tab O’Lantern. Then it’ll be hollow.)
"My name is Tab, and I’m proud to say that I’m 50 years old. I like to kick, stretch, and KICK. I’m 50!"
Then, out of the can came Thing Two and Thing Tab!
And they ran to us fast. They said, “Boy you look fab?
Would you like to drink pop with Thing One and Thing Tab?”
And Sally and I did not know what to do.
So we had to drink pop with Thing Tab and Thing Two.
We drank the stuff down. But our fish said, “No! No!
Those Things contain aspartame! Please make them go!”
“Have no fear, little fish,” said the Cat in the Hat.
“These Tabs are good Tabs.” And he gave them a pat.
“They are free… calorie free! And they have caffeine.
To give a little boost so you’re not so mean.”
Delectable Me 2 at a theater near you*!
*only if you’ve brought a Tab into said theater
Four score and zero calories ago the fathers of The Coca-Cola Company brought forth on this soda market a new beverage, canned in Pink, and dedicated to the carbonation that is not at all sweetened by Equal.
Happy belated Father’s Day to my baby daddy! I mean, my daddy as a baby. Wow, that phrase really needs to be in a specific order, huh?
It’s the rootinest tootinest soda in the wild wild west.
Happy Mother’s Day, momma! I love that you’re the type of lady who enjoys a nice, cold, entirely unphotoshopped Tab on top of the Empire State Building.
First photos released of the Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Freaky Friday! Although I’m excited, I think they’re starting to run out of ideas.