To you Diet Coke drinkers, the Mad Tabber says, “Change flavors!”

To you Diet Coke drinkers, the Mad Tabber says, “Change flavors!”

I know what I’ve been binging on this weekend.  Good thing it’s calorie free!

I know what I’ve been binging on this weekend.  Good thing it’s calorie free!

Honey is a gateway sweetener.

Honey is a gateway sweetener.

Curious flavor and meets your daily serving of *potassium!
*potassium benzoate (to protect taste)

Curious flavor and meets your daily serving of *potassium!

*potassium benzoate (to protect taste)

Pink Ranger. Duh.

Pink Ranger. Duh.

Tabby Holidays!

Tabby Holidays!

Halloween is filled with hollow calories… but not when you choose Tab!  (Unless you choose to chop up the can and turn it into a Tab O’Lantern.  Then it’ll be hollow.)

Halloween is filled with hollow calories… but not when you choose Tab!  (Unless you choose to chop up the can and turn it into a Tab O’Lantern.  Then it’ll be hollow.)

Tabby Cadabby will make your thirst disappear!

Tabby Cadabby will make your thirst disappear!

As many chemicals as meth.  Twice as delicious.  Bitch.

As many chemicals as meth.  Twice as delicious.  Bitch.

"My name is Tab, and I’m proud to say that I’m 50 years old.  I like to kick, stretch, and KICK.  I’m 50!"

"My name is Tab, and I’m proud to say that I’m 50 years old.  I like to kick, stretch, and KICK.  I’m 50!"

Then, out of the can came Thing Two and Thing Tab!  And they ran to us fast. They said, “Boy you look fab? Would you like to drink pop with Thing One and Thing Tab?” And Sally and I did not know what to do.So we had to drink pop with Thing Tab and Thing Two.We drank the stuff down. But our fish said, “No! No! Those Things contain aspartame!  Please make them go!”
“Have no fear, little fish,” said the Cat in the Hat. “These Tabs are good Tabs.” And he gave them a pat. “They are free… calorie free!  And they have caffeine.To give a little boost so you’re not so mean.”

Then, out of the can came Thing Two and Thing Tab! 
And they ran to us fast. They said, “Boy you look fab?
Would you like to drink pop with Thing One and Thing Tab?”
And Sally and I did not know what to do.
So we had to drink pop with Thing Tab and Thing Two.
We drank the stuff down. But our fish said, “No! No!
Those Things contain aspartame!  Please make them go!”

“Have no fear, little fish,” said the Cat in the Hat. 
“These Tabs are good Tabs.” And he gave them a pat. 
“They are free… calorie free!  And they have caffeine.
To give a little boost so you’re not so mean.”

Delectable Me 2 at a theater near you*!

*only if you’ve brought a Tab into said theater

Fifty Shades of Aluminum

Fifty Shades of Aluminum

Life’s like a beverage, drink till the ending.

Life’s like a beverage, drink till the ending.

Four score and zero calories ago the fathers of The Coca-Cola Company brought forth on this soda market a new beverage, canned in Pink, and dedicated to the carbonation that is not at all sweetened by Equal.

Four score and zero calories ago the fathers of The Coca-Cola Company brought forth on this soda market a new beverage, canned in Pink, and dedicated to the carbonation that is not at all sweetened by Equal.